After the Tone


It’s broken

"you have t-t-thir-teen new messages"

"Thu-Fr-Th-s-Thu-u-u-rsday, Novemb-emb-emb-er t-t-te-thirteenth:"

Are you there?

Five thousand, eight hundred, and thirty three hours

You used to write down every word

I remember you used –

You used to

Call me when the snow was so high that

We had to stay at home

But now that the air is so thick that –

So that we have to stay at home

I can’t hear you through your – I can’t hear anything through your – I can’t hear anything at all except your –


That I never – I remember – pick up

I heard a voice say – You are not a voice – To say – I heard nothing

To say

Nothing at all –

To say

Peace, inside itself, Is an unattainable ideal

To many

But, I ask – But, but but – I ask, I read

“If it were possible” –  You are here – “For man and God” – You are familiar –

“To shore up each other’s meaningfulness” –  You are empty – “In this fashion” – So, so, so ,so silent –

“Why could not two people” – shivers in the night – “Do this for each other as well?” –

Remorseful hands – naught but – all – hollow memories – and you?

And this is about – yes, you – if I ever knew, enough to – your name aloud – This is you.

Why are you the world, the creation, when you cannot – if you shall

All but – withstand its being – for yourself?

For so long, so long – so long, long long – you fought.

But your name – nothing but an echo – fading unbeing

Moulded into collective – the forceful hand – a brush to the side.

You aren’t – shouldn’t – memory or more

I can’t – memory – streaks in the rain

Falls – apart – washes away

Leaving only footsteps – as, as, as you

Depart to – my, my, my

Only guilt

Only – 

Only guilt, and – 

– that’s all

I hold your hand in mine.

– but that can only – so much –

“I’m sorry” – if you – “the number you have dialed”

if you are – “is no longer in service” – aren’t then –

“And your message”

then are you – “could not be” – aren’t you done –

“delivered” – giving up on –

“Goodbye” – it all?

I know you're not gone.

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